Sexual Integrity

Be in-tune with yourself! Self-awareness helps you understand your needs and empowers you to act in alignment with your own values in the context of sex. The more you know about yourself the easier it is to establish healthy sexual boundaries and to communicate effectively with others. When you have sexual integrity, you are able to comfortably share your preferences and confidently disclose your history with your partner(s) bringing you safety and peace in all of your relationships.

Safety in Dating

Know Your Rights

You have rights in your relationship. Everyone does, and those rights can help you set boundaries that should be respected by both partners in a healthy relationship:

  1. You have the right to privacy, both online and off
  2. You have the right to feel safe and respected
  3. You decide who you date
  4. You decide when/if you have sex
  5. You decide how/who you have sex with
  6. You have the right to say no at any time to
    1. Sex, a massage or kiss, cuddling or holding hands 
    2. Drugs or alcohol
    3. Accept or decline a date to a relationship)
    4. Enter or renter a relationship
  7. You have the right to hang out with your friends and family without any fear of jealousy or control
  8. You have the right to do things you enjoy or need for your mental health without your partner
  9. You have the right to end a relationship that isn’t right
  10. You have the right to live free from violence and abuse

Accept Your Responsibilities

You have responsibilities in your relationship. Everyone does, and those responsibilities can help you enforce boundaries that should be respected by both partners in a healthy relationship.

  1. Give them plenty of space.
  2. Communicate in a honest, gentle and kind way.
  3. Emotionally regulate.
  4. Protect and maintain your mental health.
  5. Be sexual in safe ways.
  6. You have the responsibility to hear to the word "No."
    1. Immediately stop 🛑 the offensive behavior.
    2. Apology never do it again or
    3. Make no excuses and do not argue about why.
    4. Especially if they have said yes before
  7. Encourage them to spend time with their friends and family or to do the things they need to do
  8. If they stop the dates thank them for the experience.
  9. Promptly return their belongings upon their request.
  10. As a safety precaution delete the contact.

The Friendship Funnel

Online Speed Dating Events

These are people in the single adult communities.

IT & Music

Bank Teller

Entrepreneur

Truck Driver

Human Resources

Mechanic

Engineer

Musician

Property Mgt.

Gym Members

Life Coach

Entrepreneur

Host/Server

Accountant

Geologist

Social Worker

Level 1: Acquaintances

People you know a little bit about from singles events.

Purpose

Establish new acquaintances.

Game Night

Festivals & Concerts

Brunch/Dinner Party

Amusement Parks

Hike/Camp/Travel

Sports Events

Pool Party

Museums

Karaoke/Dancing

Movie Night

Focus

On the activities.

Level 2: Casual Friends

Semi-private group dates outside of the community.

Purpose

Develop friendships.

Focus

On the activities.

Level 3: Close Friends

Private one-on-one friendship dates.

Purpose

Strengthen the friendship.

Focus

On the person.

Level 4: Intimate Friends

Invite your parents to become acquainted.

Purpose

Check to see if you are a match.

After a Date

Review your notes.

Focus

On the relationship.

Faithfulness

Goodness

Gentleness

Peace

Kindness

Joy

Generosity

Patience

Self-control

You should be able to go out on a date and feel comfortable with each companion.

Keep a Record of Every Date & Conversation Topics

Establish a Boundary

If the subject of sex comes up on a date promptly address it. Let them know you are ultimately saving sex for marriage. Ask them if they interested in friendship dating and briefly explain what it means:

  1. If they say yes, continue the conversation.
  2. If they say no, end the conversation and thank them for their time.

Remind Them Once

If they ask about other types of physical touch, then tell them that you like to connect before you engage in any kind of it. Inform them you are comfortable with the following and document the conversation in the persons contact details:

  1. High fives and linking arms
  2. A kiss on the hand and side hugs

Enforce the Consequences

Sexual harassment is a clear red flag 🚩 treat it like a red traffic light 🚦 and completely stop 🛑 the dates and ✋ end the friendship. Follow these safety steps:

  1. Ignore the message or call an Uber.
  2. Block and update the person's contact details.
    1. Document the incident in the notes.
    2. Replace the name w/ Do Not Response.

Dating Violence

Sexual Harassment

  1. Unwelcome sexual advances. 
  2. Requests for sexual favors.
  3. Negative comments about women as a group. 
  4. Making dates or commitments conditional.
  5. Physical acts of sexual assault.
  6. Sexual jokes or comments.
  7. Conversations about acts or orientation.
  8. Unwanted touching or physical contact.
  9. Discussion of relations/stories/fantasies.
  10. Feeling pressured to engage sexually. 
  11. Exposing oneself or performing sexual acts on oneself.
  12. Unwanted explicit photos, emails or text.

Stalking

At least 2-3 separate incidents of a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other course of conduct directed at a you to cause fear:

  1. Making threats against you, your family or friends
  2. Non-consensual and repeated communication
  3. Unwanted gifts delivered to you
  4. Repeated physical or closeness from a distance 
  5. Waiting, following or watching you
  6. Any other behavior used to track or threaten you 
    1. i.e. social media, GPS, and
    2. Cyber bullying.

Perpetrators

Keep any evidence received from the stalker such as text messages, voicemails, letters, packages, emails, etc. You can do this by taking screenshots of conversations or even printing out email exchanges for the court hearing.

  1. Document every incident.
  2. Make it clear that you wish to stop contact.
  3. Do not respond to further communication.
  4. Try to avoid the person stalking you.
  5. Inform family, friends, supervisors, and co-workers. 
  6. File a police report and report to their bishop. 
  7. Talk to a victims advocate and get a restraining order.