I often get asked about why I am single. Truth be told I have not lived long here on the earth but I have made my share of mistakes and challenges. So I have been getting completely comfortable with my baseline. Which helps me understand when adjustments need to be made. Give me room to recognize growth and opportunities to celebrate the milestones of success.

A few years ago I was on a daily quest to establish initially a healthy relationship with my and once that goal was accomplished maintain it has been the next. That meant going toe to toe with 6 adverse childhood experiences but then going a step further and seeing how I could share my healing journey in a way that would give hope to others.

Along the way I found a Self-Reliance and 12 Step Addiction Recovery Programs that created a blueprint for sustainable or long term recovery goals I had already set for myself but did not know how to produce. I also came to know God as my Heavenly Father which made Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. The Holy Ghost became my personal tailor. Boy did I have a bunch of layers to shed!

The first thing the Holy Ghost told me was to sober up physically and then emotionally. Abstinence from everything turning out His voice immediately had to go but that did not mean that I was ready to give up any of my 15 addictions... Oh, no as you can imagine that took a lot of time and effort. It required meticulous honesty and a lot of confession that began with me. Why are you drinking so much? I usually did not want to remember something but at the time these conversations began I buried my 6 aces deep inside. I had to go digging for about a decade to get to this place of clarity. Every time a layer was peeled back I had to reassure myself that no matter what came up I loved myself unconditionally. It was terrifying.

My Internal Family System

Protective Memory

Role: Management.

Vulnerable Memory

Role: Seek Validation

Protective Memory

Role: Firefighter

Executive Self

Role: Reparenting

I Didn't Give Up

I recruited help. I found two support groups in Cincinnati for women, this is where I unloaded confidentially and anonymously with others who I discovered were like me. Some were older others younger, fresh in recovery or more advanced and we were surprised that we could all mentor in something. We became of one heart and mind. It was the closest thing to the sisterhood I had always wanted but no one in my family was ready for it yet. When I did have something specific I needed to process I asked my bishop for a therapy referral to LDS Family Services. He was my spiritual accountability partner and I also had a Relief Society that looked after me the entire time I lived there.